Overrated

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There are many things in our life which have been giving a lot of importance than what they deserve. Here are some of them –

1. English – The first one in my list is English we are so obsessed with it that even sometimes we speak in English in dreams even. Though English is a universal language and is an important part of our professional life these days but it has been given too much importance more than talent and skills. Many skilled and talented people not make it in their interview if they don’t give interview in English most of the companies only hire candidates if one can give interview in English even if in professional terms no spoken English is required. Hopefully in future people will be hired on the basis of their skills and talent more.

Let world be a language of love and kindness.

2. COOKING – Second one in my list is cooking (specially for girl’s). From the time girl’s start growing up till they get married one thing which they hear most is khana banana sikhlo/start learn to cooking whether they like it or not it’s in the list of every parent. Now a days both man and woman are earning so why should not they both cook as well. If girl’s are sharing responsibility for earning and managing home financially why boys are lacking behind cooking for boys is still a taboo in our country in spite of the fact that world’s most famous chef’s are boys only.

And I’m a totally Foodie person.

3. FAIR COMPLEXION – Though we are living in a 21st century but still we don’t overcome our desire of having fair complexion. There are pictures, videos, songs, beauty products, food products, ads and what not which only talk about fair complexion even our family members and relatives. Our complexion depends on the presence of melanin pigment in our body. Our complexion is not a parameter for how good we look, dress, thought, maintain relationships, intelligence, maturity and all the things so be confident and love yourself for the way you’re.

Love my brown skin tone and a beautiful soul.

4. EXTROVERTS – Our world recognize and speak mostly about extroverts or the one who are spoken about each and every thing about their life or surroundings. Worldwide still quiet people or introverts suffer lot of discrimination they seems to be dumb to others and mostly mistaken and taken granted because of their nature. Everyone is unique in their own way and has their flaws instead of bashing if we can encourage each other without any discrimination than it will be very good for humankind. Mind it introverts are awesome.

Love my boho and introvert personality

5. MORE COMPETITION, LESS EDUCATION – World is growing fast and so is the education and knowledge parameters. People choose or do competition on the basis of fame and fee structure of school not on the basis of education. In jealousy sometimes they want only school of high fee structure so that they can compete on the basis of economic status but not knowledge and education. But that is not a parameter of good education.

Be Wise…..

6. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS – We tend to show negative emotions more than positive ones. Every emotion has its own importance in life and it should be balance of both negative and positive emotions or less of negative ones more as life is very unpredictable and life with regrets is more painful. Show your loved ones that you love them.

Show them but never let them to control you….

7. Money – No doubt money is most important aspect of our life today as everything starts with it and ends with it. But most of the time money don’t bring that happiness which we really crave for. Mental peace is the foremost one for me in this.

Balancing is the key…..

8. Education – Being in a teaching profession one thing I came to know that education and knowledge doesn’t comes with age it comes with will. You can have lot of degrees in your pocket but may not have right kind of knowledge. People cannot be educated with degrees sometimes but they are full of wisdom and knowledge.

Don’t just collect degrees…

9. Fake – We are surrounded with mostly everything and everyone fake. People hide emotions which make them more human. Genuine people and things are so rare these days. People now a days always want someone who shower them with gifts and compliments. Being real is endangered these days in order to please others or ourselves we even lie to ourselves.

Be genuine…like me 🙂 of course

10. Happiness – Happiness is something which we all crave for whole our life but happiness can never help you to grow it’s the pain and suffering only which can lead you to the path of wisdom and growth. So cherish and value both the emotions at its best.

I hope we do acknowledge it too..

Points mention here are my personal views and written not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Image courtesy – pinterest

THE STORY OF MY GRANDMOTHER

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All my life there is one woman whom I admire most and that lady is my “grandmother”. She is a very simple, humble, affable, fierce, inspirational, kind, brave and the list goes on and on for me. Married in a rich business class family at a very young age and become a widow at a young age too left with 3 boys 1 girl. In that time it’s very hard to live in a joint family following superstitious and rigid customs of society as well as family members. There is a very special part of her which is so attached to me always that when I born my mother is not well at all due to so much hormonal disbalance in her body she goes into depression and that time as I told by my parents she feeds me her milk. In coming years my brother and sister also born by that time my mother has a severe depression from which she couldn’t recover easily but my father and grandmother stood by her like an iron pillar fighting family and society both as we were children that time. In bringing up all three of us as a good and wise human my grandmother plays a key role as my mother is not well. She lives with us as my father is the youngest one from all 4 hence my grandmother is attached to my father a lot. She wakes up at 4 am firstly thank god for all the things which she has in her life, then take a bath, wash all her clothes by herself, do pooja and when my father gets ready for an office she prepares his lunch, in the afternoon she makes lunch for all five of us when we came back from school and at night she serves dinner. She used to go to the vegetable market daily for buying vegetables but on Sunday when there is a holiday of school I also went with her sometimes along with my brother and sister. She watched only one serial heartedly “Balika vadhu” she just wait for that serial desperately and all 5 of us watched it with her sometimes doing comments on serial. This is her daily routine relentlessly she works day and night till my mother sounds well. Since childhood, I have seen my grandmother doing all her work on her own no form of question, command, demand, ego or request was there from her side. Always ready to help others in their time of need and when it comes to her she doesn’t have any complaint with life, god or some person never I have seen her in my life doing gossiping or complaining about what she has or what she doesn’t have and the expectations of being a saas of 3 bahus never comes into her mind whether it’s a materialistic or emotional she is a giver by nature except she wants one SUTI ( cotton ) saree on Diwali for herself this is her only expectation. Till we grow up she never allows us to do any household work and when it comes to going temple or doing pooja during menstruation she is so liberal in her thoughts that she never taught us to not do pooja and go temple in menstruation in fact when my mother scolds me and my sister to not do so she said that they’re kids don’t teach them this thing. By that time our business was no more and my father shifted into a private job he never did a job in his life but as situations came he also never give up and brought up 3 three children, unwell wife, and a grandmother was very tough job in that time till we completed the academic education he never let us know about all financial crunches. One thing I still remember my grandmother legs and thighs used to swell up daily our family advice her that she should go to the doctor but she denied every time as might be she thought that time how my father will manage all the expenses of my mother illness and his children so she never ever utter a word about her health. Every single person in our family admires her so much and her strength towards the harsh life which she faced fiercely.

What inspires me of my grandmother is her undying belief in God even after so many harsh circumstances, her giving nature without asking for anything in return, her acceptance of situations in life easily, her relentlessly working nature day and night, her not at all complaining nature from life, god or even some person and her calling me and my sister as “LAALI” I can’t forget that lovely name. She is not that much educated but her wisdom, acceptance and handling of situations make me believe that to be actual understanding in thoughts one doesn’t need an education one have to widen the horizons of their mind first otherwise there’s no importance of education which one hold in the form of degrees.

She died on 22 September’11 but she will always and is an important part of my life not because she is my grandmother but she is a great human by nature. My eyes still soak in tears when I remember her but not in sadness but because I had got that privilege that she is my grandmother. I just pray to god that in next birth also she plays an important part in my life.

I love you amma……

An ode to a woman

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  • ” Women ” this word itself holds many meanings that even definitions that breathe in dictionaries are too less to describe. Every woman who fought odds of her life alone inside or outside is an inspiration for all whether she is a family member, a woman in the neighborhood, a maid, a friend, a colleague, etc. There are many relations which are attached to a woman. But one of the most important and cherishable relations of a woman is with herself first. There are many inspirational stories about a woman on the internet but many of them still like untold and unheard.

In this poem summing up some phases of woman life

You’re the epitome of sacrifice,
But don’t sacrifice your dignity at all,
You’re an ocean of love,
But love yourself first,
You’re the tolerance within,
But don’t tolerate disrespect,
You’re a handful of kindness,
But don’t be kind to evil,
You’re a mother of care,
But take care of yourself first,
You’re understanding in all odds,
But understand yourself first,
You’re motivational for all,
But motivate yourself first,
You’re the healing power,
But heal yourself first,
You’re the giver by nature,
But give yourself first,
You’re an inspiration for all,
But be your inspiration first,
You’re there for all in sorrows,
But be there for yourself first,
You’re the sunshine in darkness,
But be your sunshine first,
Be yourself first.

Image courtesy – Pinterest

Cherish and love your body it will reflect back to you…

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All our life we search for love in emotional form but we forget to cherish and take care of our body physically.

Sometimes we are so much dependent on our partner for our emotional needs that if it is not there for us we forget to cherish and love our body when healing is done emotionally till that time our body is so much deteriorating.

In order to live a good life we have to maintain ourselves emotionally and physically both.

If we think that only emotional love is important to maintain good health then it is wrong a person should be both emotionally and physically fit to lead a happy and healthy life.

In order to lead a happy and healthy life a person should do these things, –

1. Maintain a good routine to do things timely. Other than days in which you’re feeling very lazy.

2. Think positive of yourself and others also even if they hurt you though it’s not that easy but this negative or positive energy will automatically hurt you so in order to keep yourself positive stay positive.

3. Read a good book one or two page daily to feed your mind with good food which helps you to develop your mind and personality.

4. Maintain a hobby do anything which you likes to do irrespective of what other people think of it.

Image source- pinterest

Menstruation

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Menstruation, this word mostly comes with a expression of shame when someone wants to talk about it there are many mouth around us which are always there to shut us up whenever this topic arise.

In India, as a people we couldn’t hear this word loud or rarely have discussion about it in society. What society told us or made us to follow we follow only that and out of fear don’t even asks relevant questions about it which can educate us.

Still, a great percentage of women in India devoid of sanitary products, disposing it off well and proper sanitation facilities.

Myths are still prevailing in our country like we prohibit the entry of women in kitchen, religious and holy ceremonies even in 21st century where man is reaching up to moon and women are still standing outside temples.

Like, all the pujaris in the temple are pure in their heart and hygienic too…. I think which matters most is the purity of heart during religious or holy ceremony.

Women are the bearers of society which are responsible for a new life on earth instead of helping them in every possible way to overcome these myths we want them to dwell into these. To maintain hygiene during menstruation is one thing and to stop women from doing things is other.

Now days petition is filling for two days leave on the start of menstruation as some of the females deal with the unbearable pain at this time, that they have to take high dose of medicines or injection in order to overcome it.

Even at most of the homes if a female is having their periods and an unbearable pain too (if she is not having pain then it’s another thing) then even in that condition she has to do all the household chores perfectly by neglecting her health and at last mostly no body is there to care for her.

It’s an important and continuous phase of women till menopause but if we care for our women in this phase a little then it will give them a sense of being loved because it’s true that in menstruation or menopause women goes through a lot of hormonal disbalance which effect their body and mood too sometimes they even go into depression.

The loss of 1-3 litre of blood every month sometimes even more than that, unbearable pain, mood swings, cramps and depression is more deserving than normal or neglecting behaviour towards menstruation.

Let’s worship our women as a goddess in true sense.

https://hindi.speakingtree.in/allslides/kamakhya-temple-ki-mystery/m-lite

By this article I don’t want to hurt feelings of any one who thinks differently about it just wanted that superstition and poor behavior towards women stop. We should become more caring towards our women in this phase.

Image source- pinterest

The undying dark

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Beauty we all define it according to our thinking. Some find it in only pretty things and some find it in everything i.e. Philocalist like me.

So, we all are aware of how much we Indians are obsessed with fair skin that we even ditch our own identity.

Though we’re living in 21st century but our obsession with fair skin still goes on from ancestral time. The obsession with fair skin continues from our personal to professional life. We see that how fair skin rule the world around us from advertisement, profession, personal, family and friends.

Sequence of events we counter around us are like –

1. When a baby born mostly everyone judge the color of the child before it’s birth or if a dark child is born comments like this ” Sundar nahi Hai”, “gori nahi Hai”, etc are normal to hear. And then comes the guidance part on how to change the color of the child by home remedies.

2. Or when a lady is pregnant advising for getting fairer child starts like eat this and that to get fair child.

2. Whenever I like to sit in sun in winters people from my family starts telling me that “Bahar mat baith, kali hojaegi” and at that point I’m in love with my color to give them the tough fight about this.

3. When we search a partner for marriage mostly people concentrate only on color rather than the real things which actually important for marriage. Like, we see in matrimonial ads in newspapers or on the matrimonial site it goes like this “want a fair girl or boy for our child” and the list goes on. When a meeting is arranged for a marriage it’s to be told specifically to a girl that you should go a parlour for it thanks to god I haven’t told this by my family why don’t show your natural skin tone before marriage so that if they want to accept you they will as you’re because after marriage all the time you’ll not sit in parlour for ditching your colour.

From our childhood we made to learn that fair skin is a bliss so we monitor ourselves like that only earlier I myself used to do things to fairer my skin but now I changed for better I do use products for make up sometimes but for not getting fairer skin even at my professional life I don’t prefer it unless it’s an event.

What determines our skin color?

It’s the amount of melanin pigment in our skin that determines the color of our skin and actually it’s very useful for our body as it protects us from skin diseases.

Here, I don’t want to demean fairer skin people rather I urge dark people to accept and love yourself as you’re and let change happen in this matter. And for fair skin people we need you to do your bit in this approach.

Why don’t we see beauty in dark skin like we see in fairer ones and why we crowd flowing the racist ideas of people who actually show how modern they’re but actually they’re not by mentality. For me beauty is –

This

I will do my bit by raising children that not differentiate between colour but to differentiate between the right and wrong things.

As a country we are developing but do we really developing our mindsets.

Life is much more than these.

Image source – Internet, Pinterest.

Defining an achievement…

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Let’s start with a quote that says almost everything about this blog-

Achievement we all are familiar with this word and generally use it for materialistic things or success in terms of professional life mainly. But why do we complicate word like success in terms of materialistic things or money.

Achievement is something that should not be bounded within materialistic things. It should be something that counts on non-materialistic success also which you achieved in your life daily. For an example, I don’t like cooking but I never say no to cooking and keep trying to make better food than before though I’m an average cook even that’s an achievement for me.

In this materialistic world you only found mostly those who define your career growth by means of your salary mainly if you’re working but as this is your life and you’re the owner of it so,along with achieving monetary growth also groom yourself as a person for things which are necessary for good life. Try to learn things which are new and curious to you.

Make yourself a better person daily by achieving small goals in your daily life and don’t compare yourself with other only compete with yourself.

Achievement is something which makes you a better person.

Follow your heart but do take your brain too……

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We all are unique in our own way. Sometimes, just with mere judgements of others regarding our personality we went into depression or don’t like ourselves because others don’t accept us. We’re so much afraid of rejection from others that we reject ourselves too as a person.

Most of our life we follow others and their views. We really don’t try or follow our life with our views as we live in a fear of rejection or being wrong that we stop living our dreams and just following others.

1. Put your views about everything whichever you like no matter what at the end if it’s wrong also even then it’s means that you’re doing something not just following only.

2. Don’t driven by thoughts of others because of societal pressure or stigmas unless you really respect it. It takes great effort to say no to things which are not meant for you or you don’t like it but at the end it’s just your preference of saying no to something not of disrespecting something as there’s a thin line between being disrespectful or saying no to something.

3. Don’t get swayed by herd mentality gain knowledge and apply it in your decisions, listen to everyone then decide what to do don’t just follow.

4. There’s a thin line between disrespecting something and following your dreams or mind. Follow what you feel is the basic right of human and saying it in a disrespectful way is the other thing. You can follow your heart but do take brain by respecting other’s view also by saying no in a polite manner or when there’s a situation to choose between the two choose what you want to follow as when you’re happy from inside then only you can make other’s happy and don’t keep grudges or any evil for the person. But, in case you’re wrong with your decision at the end then take responsibility for it and don’t blame others. With decision making comes a great responsibility too.

Follow your heart but take your mind too….. As life is too short to follow others and keep regrets.

What it’s like to be an introvert? 

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Introverts are always judged by their nature no matter what. Being an introvert daughter, daughter- in- law, wife, etc sometimes it’s very hard to connect with people who are new to you or if you’re not comfortable with them much as it’s difficult with us to make a new relationship or sometimes it’s just about a click with someone and we can be comfortable in a minute also.

So, here are some points of our personality which help others to understand us-

1. Personal Space- We want more personal space than others as we enjoy being in our own company more. Mostly it’s very difficult for other’s to understand us because they think we are in depression or we don’t like their company or something else that we’re behaving like this.

2. Conversation- We only communicate well with those who make us comfortable in our own skin with themselves and don’t judge for whatever we are as it’s not easy for us to communicate with everyone with the same comfort. And when we are comfortable with them we’re just mad like no one else and very lively to live with.

3. Socially inactive- We can’t be socially active everytime no matter what how much we like that person and not with everyone we are socially active as it drains our energy very much. It is like extrovert energize as much as they talk and we drain in energy as much as we talk.

4. Proudy and Egoistic- It’s always a tag with us because of our nature that we’re proudy and egoistic but in reality we’re not it’s just that we communicate less and respond only whenever it’s a need.

5. Solitude- We enjoy solitude more than others it’s just that we’re so comfortable with ourselves that being in our own company make us more happy than anything else.

6. Friends- We choose our friends wisely and also choosy in selecting our friends. Most of all we choose only those who don’t judge us and are trust worthy as because most of introverts are trust worthy and are empathetic. But, it’s not necessary that all introverts are trust worthy it’s just a trait of introverts.

7. Empathetic- Most of us are empathetic and don’t do back bitching. There are only few instances when we talk about someone with others. No matter what if we’re comfortable or not with anyone we feel others sorrow empathetically and try to calm them according to that.

8. Straight forward- We’re straight forward with whatever we feel as we speak less but mostly we straightly tell our feelings to almost everyone as we connect very less with others.

9. Honest- We’re honest and that’s the problem with ourselves. We don’t fake that we’re social animal and that’s why mostly everyone consider us proudly and whenever we speak it’s truth mostly.

10. Love- We love everyone no matter whatever they’re because we don’t judge but only few are those who are lucky to see our love as we express selectively but not to everyone.

11. Validation- We don’t need others validation for our personality and are strong in our own way. And because of this only if people do back bitching about us we don’t feel bad as we are strong in our own way.

12. Fakeness- We don’t fake with most of the things whether it’s about dressing sense, choice, truth, selection of things and feelings which is most important for us.

Being an introvert is not a sin, we’re not alien it’s just that we’re different and less in number or are bullied because of our nature.

We’re just mad and wonderful like everyone. We want to love and to be loved for what we’re.